It’s been a while since I reported in on my ongoing quest to be a lighter version of me. You might recall from this post that I have a bit of a love-love relationship with foods that are bad for me. That hasn’t changed in the last two months; indeed I think it never will.
So, how’s it going, you might ask? On balance, not bad. Not great, but not awful. In exciting news, I went to buy jeans the other day (always a stressful purchase, because jeans are such a staple of my fall wardrobe) and discovered that I could FIT into the size of jeans that I couldn’t fit into just a year ago. That was awesome. I floated out of the store and into a job hunting trip to Boston and promptly blew my points counting into the next solar system, you know, the one called “Diets Be Damned, I’m Down a Jeans Size, Y’all!”. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that astonishingly good Italian dinner in the North End followed by a cannoli probably discounted three months of points counting. Sigh.
Since I’ve returned from Boston, I’ve felt myself slipping back into old habits; toast for breakfast instead of protein and fruit, lack of discipline on portion size, you know the drill. I don’t know why it’s so hard to do what I know is right for my body.
But despite my slip, the reality remains that I feel amazing. Perhaps it’s that I’m not carrying the stress of my former job around, or that my schedule allows me to swim 2-3 times a week and walk the dog whenever I want (sometimes twice if the weather is nice). Perhaps it’s all the sleep I’m getting – yes, go ahead, proceed with hating me for saying that – or the fact that, even though I’ve slipped, I still feel and look better than when I began this journey back in the summer.
I can’t tell you how many pounds I’ve lost, because I am experiencing scale-phobia – I don’t want to get on the scale and have it tell me that I’ve not lost as much as I want to; I want to keep feeling good about myself. So I’m staying off the scale and searching for proof of better choices via my clothes and my state of mind.
Today, I had a super yummy, healthy and early breakfast of granola, yogurt and fruit at The Pressroom in Bentonville (get thee there if you haven’t yet – it’s an awesome place). At mid-morning, I found myself with a hungry tummy. I went to the kitchen and had nearly put a piece of toast in the toaster (mmm…butter) when I remembered that I’d bought carrots and edamame hummus and THOSE were supposed to be my snack for the day. I put the bread back, busted out the carrots, and will survive (mostly) happily until lunch. And bonus! I discovered something else as I rooted through my fridge. The chicken corn chowder I made the other day was supposed to have cheddar cheese melted into it. But as the unopened bag revealed, I forgot to add it, and didn’t miss it. Saved those calories and didn’t even know it. The universe is looking out for me.
Today’s cliché? One day, one choice, at a time. Again.
Everything and a Racehorse 
Love to hear that you’re taking care of you! Each decision to eat better, walk longer, take that nap when you need it, etc, is a step in the right direction. Sometimes I have a mental celebration when I don’t eat that handful of chips or bite of chocolate. Everything counts! YAY!
Gotta love those little celebrations – sometimes it’s the little things.
For what it’s worth, I think how you feel is way more important than a number on a scale! Much saner way to go about things. We’re all so results-driven but society has confused the issue of which results to seek from eating well. Feeling healthy seems like the right result. 🙂
I agree, Jen! On the one hand we’re supposed to love ourselves and be happy and on the other feel bad about every choice we make. Those don’t match in my book. 🙂