Where I was when same-sex marriage became 100% legal

Duck swimming on sunset water

About 5 years ago, I wrote this little post so I’d remember where I was when the Affordable Care Act passed.

It’s time to do it again.

Today is June 26, 2015. Today, the Supreme Court determined that marriage is a right that should be extended to same-sex couples.

On the bus in to work, I was checking twitter and learning about a host of terror attacks taking place across the world. I felt, and still do feel, such cognitive dissonance…how are our brains supposed to process good news next to such horror?

Anyway, I was in my office as the decision was being run to the press by the interns of the court. I was quickly reading up to make sure I knew the various decisions that could be taken, and then suddenly, my facebook feed exploded in an orgy of rainbows. SCOTUS had voted for the big kahuna. They went all the way. They said same-sex marriage was legal in every state in the union.

I blinked, swore quietly, and then this thought passed through my head: “Oh my god. Same-sex couples can get married…in Arkansas. Today.” And tears literally filled my eyes.

I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting such a rush of emotion. Especially because as a single heterosexual female, the decision has nothing directly to do with me.

Slowly, my staff and I rolled our chairs to the middle of our cubicle farm and tried to figure out the right way to respond. We were grinning, but we’re also a pretty pragmatic bunch, and we had to work pretty hard to keep ourselves from saying what we were all thinking: “How is the other side going to react? Will we have violence? Is this really as historic as it feels or are we just being dramatic?” I couldn’t help but feel sad that I probably won’t talk about this with my parents; to be honest, I don’t really know how they feel about same-sex marriage, because, well that’s POLITICS, and we don’t talk about that stuff. That sucks a bit, I think.

But we eventually convinced ourselves to enjoy the moment, and dove in to the sea of love, joy, and memes flooding the socials. I saw a tweet that said “scuse me, I have to go favorite everything in my feed”, and that really what it was like. So much love. So much stunned laughter. So much hope that we might have taken a real, honest-to-goodness step forward.

To be honest, I didn’t get much done during the day. I kept wanting to come back to that space, to be surround by all that joy. My jobs have never really allowed me to be as vocal about issues as I want to be, and having a family, whom I love very much, but who don’t often share my point of view on this stuff, has kept me pretty quiet, except among those who I absolutely know and trust. And I don’t trust the bandwagon; I know things are always more complicated than they seem.

But today I decided I don’t care if I offend someone with my belief that anyone should be able to marry their love, that same-sex couples can and do make amazing parents, and that under no circumstances do I believe that this decision marks the death of Christianity or family values. I know many smart people feel differently. But I’m a smart person, too, and my friends are smart people, and we are not now and have never been determined to destroy America, as some of our current presidential candidates would have you believe.

Love won today. I hope it wins tomorrow. And I hope peace comes to those who are mourning and suffering even as we rejoice.

I had a photo in mind when I went out on a walk with Sadie tonight – something with a rainbow flag. I couldn’t find it, though, so instead I went to Jamaica Pond and took pictures of the sunset. While there, I met a young couple, Matt and Anna, who sat in the gazebo with Sadie and I and chatted. They were so nice; it was one of the most pleasant evenings I can remember, and chatting with total strangers doesn’t come easy to me. It sounds silly and sentimental, but I think all the love was spilling over into real life today in MA, the first state in the union to legalize same-sex marriage. Our problems will all be there tomorrow, but tonight…love wins.

Good night, sweet friends.

Photo of Jodi with rainbow filter

PS: This is pretty funny.

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