WTF, Thursday????

I have said it before, but it bears repeating – I don’t know how you moms do it.   I don’t know how you keep it together when you have more than yourself and a canine to worry about.

Days like today humble me.

I was supposed to get up at 6:45.  Around 7:05 I roll my ass out of bed, let the dog out, use up all the hot water while pondering what outfit I can scrape together from my sorry, sad, boring fall wardrobe.  It needs to be a good one, since I’ll be speaking to a Jr. Auxiliary Board at 9am (this is code for well-coiffed, well-dressed, impressively put-together community activist-type women).

Around 7:15 I climb out of the shower and begin my morning ablutions, which include facial moisturizer.  I realize I can rely on an old standard for clothes – a cute brown skirt, with a black shirt and some boots.  After getting dressed, I apply a second coat of moisturizer (since in the last 5 minutes, I’d forgotten about the first application) and wonder of wonders, I’m almost out of the house on time.  I grab a piece of toast, my phone, my laptop, and jump into my car.

Then I look down, and notice that I’ve spilled BUTTER on my go-to brown skirt.  Crap.

I rush back into the house, find another skirt, find shoes (fun patent leather heels, more on those later), change my jewelry and head out to the office.  Once there, I reach for my phone to send a text…no phone.  I search my purse, my pockets…CRAP!  So I resort to an old-school text (a post-it note) and rush to my 8am radio interview.  In the parking lot, I FIND my phone (fallen between the seat and the console), and head into the studio. Unlike most mornings, I’m wired and hyper because of all I have to do in the next hour.  During the interview, my cell phone text notification goes off (classy), I mangle a few days and names (professional), and then I’m done (thank god).  I race back to the office, pick up my stuff and zoom up to Rogers for my presentation.

While stuck in traffic, I wonder if I have my Walton Arts Center name badge.  I root around in my purse, find it, and put it in a special place for safekeeping.

Then I arrive at the place where I’m speaking (after getting off one exit too early), and for the life of me, I can’t find the name badge.  I turn out my pockets, I search my purse.  No badge.  What the hell?  Giving up, I head into the building, badgeless but on time for once in my life.

About 4 slides into the presentation, I realize I have no idea what slide is coming next (this is because I only got assigned to this speaking engagement about 12 hours prior and I’m using someone else’s slides).  That was a good laugh, inside my head.  I winged it (as I often do), got through it, and soon I was headed back to Fayetteville.

I couldn’t really tell you what happened in the next few hours, except that I discovered that the cute black patent leather shoes were the kind that DON’T get more comfortable the more you wear them.

Around 4:30pm, the wardrobe issue rears it’s head again.  Crap.  I have a gala to go to tonight, and there is NOTHING in my closet that is suitable.  So I race to the mall, grab 4 dresses off the rack, and begin the fastest trying-on session ever.  There was one dress that looked really quite hot from the front (hey, where did those hips come from?), but alas, the side view…not so much.  But luckily, there was a suitable basic black dress (with sleeves, essential for me) and a whole big, colorful, beautiful display of pashminas.  One dress and two pashminas later, I’m headed home.

Once home, my dog greets me with joy for about 5 seconds before she realizes that my distracted air and determined stride mean I am leaving her alone (again), and she retires to the guest room to leave me to my frantic efforts to get dressed.  Three layers of spanx, stockings and slips later (seriously, my midsection is bruised) I’m ready to go.

I open the car door, and look what I find.

Yup.  That’s my name badge.  In the car door.  Where I’d apparently put it for safekeeping.   And yes, my car needs a serious cleaning.  You wanna make somethin’ of it?

Anyway, after that, the day evened out a bit; I attended a fundraising gala and spent some time with good people, and my friend won a really kick-ass raffle prize.  I’m really happy for her.  Not jealous at all.  No way, not me.

And now I’m home, and so tired that I’ve retyped this sentence three times.

The only other life form needing something from me at the moment is my dog, who is still harboring a faint hope that we might go for a walk (silly pooch).  I can’t imagine what I would do if there were kids or husbands needing attention right now.  Again, moms who do this every day, I salute you, and I sincerely hope you have more fall wardrobe options than I do.  Because with the two skirts I wore today, I’ve exhausted mine.

PS: I demurred from participating in Day 4 of Arkansas Women BloggersThanksBlogging challenge, as I don’t have a Facebook fan page for this blog, and at the moment, I can’t fathom having another social media channel to obsess over.  Tomorrow is Foodie Friday, so we’ll see if I can conjure up some kind of contribution.

7 thoughts on “WTF, Thursday????

  1. I'm going to give you entitlement to this one : you are beholden to many people, none of whom you birthed. We use those we birthed as an excuse not to be beholden to those many. Just sayin. All of us feel it. I have 10-12 hour workdays. 1 kid at home who is fairly self sufficient, 1 husband who isn't always self sufficient and 2 needy dogs. I don't know how women with 3 or 4 little kids do it. How? I like to think they're in denial. Or that they have a secret stash of personal assistants. And masseurs.

  2. First, the dress and the pashmina looked great! And second- it sounds like your dog got more attention than my kids did yesterday. As I walked out the door Imtold them, "hey, if you're hungry make yourself a pb&j, soup or cereal."

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