I’m serious, you know. No fooling. We’re on something like our thousandth day of heat indexes over 100. I kid you not, I dropped a tomato on my driveway today and the heat cooked it. It’s so hot, my hair is getting straighter. Well, not really, but a girl can dream.
This is the time of year when I ask myself “why-oh-why-oh-why did I move to Arkansas? What’s wrong with Canada? Or Bar Harbor? Or Alaska?” It’s getting harder to remember those warm, sunny February and November days, when I made fun those who live in the cold, perpetually winter-laden north. It’s also increasingly difficult not to shout “Global warming is a hoax??? Really???” (Yes, I know, one hot summer does not a global crisis make). I find myself getting angry that it’s so damn hot, though who to direct the anger at is a bit of a challenge. The sun, frankly, has other things to worry about.
I did have an epiphany today, though, after I drove a mere block to an interview to escape walking in the heat. As I was feeling vaguely lazy and guilty about driving, I realized that, in the winter, if it were 10 below, I would also drive. In the winter, in cold climates, you hustle from heated room to heated car to heated room and back again. It’s no different in the summer – from AC’d room, to car, to room, and so on. Is it lazy? Yes. Would I suffer bodily harm if I walked? Not really. Will I henceforth walk even on the hottest of days or coldest of mornings? Uh, nope! AC or heat is fine by me.
In this, at least, I say three cheers for technology. And shade. And sprinklers. Once I’m not so new to the ‘hood, I think I’ll run through my neighbor’s sprinkler, just for fun. Or maybe I’ll go bust open a fire hydrant. That’d be cool.
Or perhaps, to avoid arrest and incarceration, I’ll just settle for another glass of iced tea. Stay cool, y’all.