Ok, enough with this heat…

I’m serious, you know.  No fooling.  We’re on something like our thousandth day of heat indexes over 100.  I kid you not, I dropped a tomato on my driveway today and the heat cooked it.  It’s so hot, my hair is getting straighter.  Well, not really, but a girl can dream.

This is the time of year when I ask myself “why-oh-why-oh-why did I move to Arkansas?  What’s wrong with Canada?  Or Bar Harbor?  Or Alaska?”  It’s getting harder to remember those warm, sunny February and November days, when I made fun those who live in the cold, perpetually winter-laden north.  It’s also increasingly difficult not to shout “Global warming is a hoax???  Really???” (Yes, I know, one hot summer does not a global crisis make).  I find myself getting angry that it’s so damn hot, though who to direct the anger at is a bit of a challenge.  The sun, frankly, has other things to worry about.

I did have an epiphany today, though, after I drove a mere block to an interview to escape walking in the heat.   As I was feeling vaguely lazy and guilty about driving, I realized that, in the winter, if it were 10 below, I would also drive.  In the winter, in cold climates, you hustle from heated room to heated car to heated room and back again.  It’s no different in the summer – from AC’d room, to car, to room, and so on. Is it lazy?  Yes.  Would I suffer bodily harm if I walked?  Not really.  Will I henceforth walk even on the hottest of days or coldest of mornings? Uh, nope!  AC or heat is fine by me.

In this, at least, I say three cheers for technology.   And shade.  And sprinklers.  Once I’m not so new to the ‘hood, I think I’ll run through my neighbor’s sprinkler, just for fun.  Or maybe I’ll go bust open a fire hydrant.  That’d be cool.

Or perhaps, to avoid arrest and incarceration, I’ll just settle for another glass of iced tea.  Stay cool, y’all.

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